My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed. ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ said my wife. ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
There are always different ways of looking at things and your bias can point you a different way including down paths some would never think of.
I don’t know how many times I’ve been talking to a group or an individual about a situation going on in work or in the world and then all of a sudden I realize that they are actually thinking the opposite of what I was thinking. We are saying things like ‘Look at that. It’s a disgrace.’ They are agreeing but we are actually looking at it from two different angles based on our experience and bias and disagree down at the grass roots level. A good example is the Israeli response to rocket attacks from Gaza. We see the same clip and yet our disgust and support is aimed at different people. We then say generic statements like ‘It’s a disgrace’ ‘Something should be done’ ‘They should face retribution for this’ ‘We should do something’ etc. and we think they are agreeing with us.
It’s one of the reasons I’ve always felt that you need to be more specific when you are talking. It’s fine being general with people you don’t now especially if you are trying to impress. I’d never go to a girlfriend’s house and talk politics for example with her father. Keep it general but when you are talking with the view to do something about it you need to be specific and clear on your objectives so there is no misunderstanding as it’s so easy for us to make assumptions especially when it’s an unpalatable subject you are discussions. You want to keep discussions to a minimum and yet you want them to be clear what is wanted. The two are mutually exclusive. You need to say enough so that you are both clear on where you are and what your position is and where you want to go.
It’s why businesses keep minutes. They are sent around after the meeting so people can see what was said and the actions to be taken. Sometimes when you read the minutes you wonder if you were actually there because some the minutes don’t reflect what you remember. It’s the main reason I like my people to keep the minutes and I get to read them before they are distributed.
It’s also why politicians get away with so much. They don’t say what they are going to do. We say ‘Do something.’ they do what they always wanted to and then turn to you and say ‘It’s what you wanted’ and we don’t really have a reason to complain because we were unclear.
So next time you are in discussions with someone make it clear what you are saying ‘I’m surprised the Israeli’s don’t just blow Palestine to hell.’ instead of ‘We should do something’ and find your social club has sent a cheque off in your name for the Palestinians to buy more weapons. That way everyone knows where you stand and it can save your sanity.
Remember Don’t Assume, It makes an Ass of u and me.
And right now a bunch of politicians all over the UK and the EU are working on assumptions. Assumptions that I and many others are hoping is going to make asses out of them all.
Assumptions
There are always different ways of looking at things and your bias can point you a different way including down paths some would never think of.
I don’t know how many times I’ve been talking to a group or an individual about a situation going on in work or in the world and then all of a sudden I realize that they are actually thinking the opposite of what I was thinking. We are saying things like ‘Look at that. It’s a disgrace.’ They are agreeing but we are actually looking at it from two different angles based on our experience and bias and disagree down at the grass roots level. A good example is the Israeli response to rocket attacks from Gaza. We see the same clip and yet our disgust and support is aimed at different people. We then say generic statements like ‘It’s a disgrace’ ‘Something should be done’ ‘They should face retribution for this’ ‘We should do something’ etc. and we think they are agreeing with us.
It’s one of the reasons I’ve always felt that you need to be more specific when you are talking. It’s fine being general with people you don’t now especially if you are trying to impress. I’d never go to a girlfriend’s house and talk politics for example with her father. Keep it general but when you are talking with the view to do something about it you need to be specific and clear on your objectives so there is no misunderstanding as it’s so easy for us to make assumptions especially when it’s an unpalatable subject you are discussions. You want to keep discussions to a minimum and yet you want them to be clear what is wanted. The two are mutually exclusive. You need to say enough so that you are both clear on where you are and what your position is and where you want to go.
It’s why businesses keep minutes. They are sent around after the meeting so people can see what was said and the actions to be taken. Sometimes when you read the minutes you wonder if you were actually there because some the minutes don’t reflect what you remember. It’s the main reason I like my people to keep the minutes and I get to read them before they are distributed.
It’s also why politicians get away with so much. They don’t say what they are going to do. We say ‘Do something.’ they do what they always wanted to and then turn to you and say ‘It’s what you wanted’ and we don’t really have a reason to complain because we were unclear.
So next time you are in discussions with someone make it clear what you are saying ‘I’m surprised the Israeli’s don’t just blow Palestine to hell.’ instead of ‘We should do something’ and find your social club has sent a cheque off in your name for the Palestinians to buy more weapons. That way everyone knows where you stand and it can save your sanity.
Remember Don’t Assume, It makes an Ass of u and me.
And right now a bunch of politicians all over the UK and the EU are working on assumptions. Assumptions that I and many others are hoping is going to make asses out of them all.